Spreading the Love: Does Your Dog Need a Few Good Friends?
Rookie (right) and hiking pal Anubis (left) share the love on a foggy hike. photo: Angela Gardner
In separation anxiety training, we often come across dogs who struggle with being separated from their special person or persons. Roughly 20% of dogs with separation anxiety suffer from this issue, which we call hyper attachment. When dogs are hyper attached they are not okay being around just any warm body; they have to be with their one special person at all times.
The training we do for hyper attachment, which we call Spreading the Love, is different from the kind we do for general home-alone training. The goal is to get the dog to be emotionally okay being with other people - not just his significant human - as well as being home alone.
Here’s how Spreading the Love training works:
Get people other than the dog's significant person involved in the dog’s life. It’s ideal to find two or three people who are willing to help. These may be family members, friends, or daycare folks, as well as pet sitters or walkers. The main thing is that these people are able to be consistent and long-term allies for the dog’s training.
Have these people spread the love by becoming fun and trustworthy with the dog. Let these folks feed the dog, give him exercise, play enrichment games, and do positive reinforcement training. It may be necessary for the significant person to allow others to do the majority of fun stuff for a while. The idea is to have the dog see other people as fun and to understand that he can experience fun away from his significant human. In this way, the dog learns that he doesn’t have to rely on just one person for his happiness and that he can be safe with others.
Spreading the Love training can usually progress more quickly than general home-alone training and is a great way to begin separation anxiety training for dogs who are hyper attached. The dog’s significant human may be present in the home or absent during training, depending on the dog. Often this allows owners some time away from the dog at the same time the dog is learning that happiness can come independent from his significant other.
How do you select people for Spreading the Love training? First, identify the next best scenario for your dog if he can’t be with you, starting with the people your dog would be the happiest with. Most dogs who are hyper attached would love to live in a one-room studio apartment with their significant person or people so they can always be in the same room. We want to find the next best option after this. Your dog may be able to just barely hold it together when staying with a pet sitter but seems to do better when he stays with a family member. Or your dog may do better when there’s another dog that he can play with. You know your dog best so look at various scenarios and options and choose the ones that would be the next best thing to your being there. Try to pick a couple of good people and scenarios and stick with them, using the steps outlined above.
Remember, it’s better for your dog to have a few good friends he can really count on. Give him the time to build a strong, positive association with his new circle of trust. You’ll both be happier for it.