My Mellow Valentine: Give Your Dog the Gift of Relaxation

All week long, I consult with pet parents about their dog’s behavior. One of the questions I always ask is: What behaviors does your dog know? Owners usually rattle off a list of things like sit, down, stay, paw, come, go to bed, crate, etc. But there is almost always one item missing from most people’s lists and it’s an important one - how to relax. 

While some people and dogs are naturally more relaxed than others, relaxation is actually a skill set that can be taught and improved upon. Just ask the anxious dog trainer who is writing this article - it is possible to learn how to calm your nervous system and relax your body as a response to combat stress. We can teach our dogs this ability, too, and it is one of the most loving lessons you can give. So for this Valentine’s Day, give your dog the gift of relaxation.

When a dog is stressed, his body will react with a sympathetic nervous system response. The heart rate accelerates, lungs prep to take in more air, blood vessels constrict, and blood pressure rises. This is not always a bad thing. A bit of stress can help us do a good job in the moment. When you exercise your dog with an invigorating game of fetch, this sympathetic nervous system response allows your dog to run fast, leap up, and make that catch midair without missing a beat. But the stress response becomes a problem when it goes on for too long and stress builds to an unproductive level. Some stress is good; too much is bad.

The goal of the relaxation practice is to encourage your dog to have a parasympathetic nervous system response, which is responsible for the body’s rest and digestion response. Essentially, it counteracts the sympathetic response that stress produces. Under the parasympathetic response, breathing slows, heart rate slows, digestion increases, and blood pressure drops. Whether you have a dog who has a hard time settling down, a reactive pup who tenses up quickly, and/or just a living, breathing pooch, they can all benefit from regular relaxation.  

So, you might be thinking, am I teaching my dog to take some deep breaths and develop a daily meditation practice? Well, the idea is the same, but the dog version looks a little bit different. The first step is to set up a comfy, quiet area to practice daily. A small room with a door you can close makes a great spot, but whatever area you choose, make it as peaceful for your dog as possible. Provide a comfy rug or mat for your dog to relax on and consider running a white noise machine to make things quieter or offering a calming product such as Adaptil to set the mood. (Adaptil is a synthetic copy of a natural comforting pheromone released by mother dog to reassure her puppies and can be bought at most pet supply stores.) Make sure your dog has already had some exercise and has had a potty break recently. Once you’ve set the mood, you’re ready to begin.

Sit on the floor with your dog and have some treats in your pocket or in a container nearby. Begin with either a sniffing or licking activity. You may want to use a snuffle mat, a fabric toy with flaps and pockets that you can fill with food, which your dog then sniffs out. (You can buy a snuffle mat or make your own.) Sniffing helps decrease your dog’s heart rate and is a great calming activity to begin your session. A licking activity can also work to release endorphins, which helps them feel calmer and more relaxed. A LickiMat or any rubber toy that you can smear peanut butter on are excellent for this purpose.

There are many different kinds of snuffle mats, but the purpose of all of them is to distract your dog and get their own bodies to decrease their heart rate.

Once your dog has finished the sniffing or licking activity, move on to feeding him treats for voluntarily lying down near you. Your dog may already be doing this at this point, but if not, simply wait and he will lie down eventually. When this happens, start feeding him treats. Deliver the treats in a calm manner by moving your hand slowly and placing the treat gently on the ground between your dog’s front paws, helping him understand that getting up and moving around is not needed. Getting some food in his belly will increase digestion, which, in turn, encourages the nervous system to relax (the same reason you want to take a nap after a big meal).

After a few minutes of feeding for lying down, start to watch your dog for physical signs that would suggest relaxation. That might be shifting weight onto the back hip, kicking legs out to the side, slowing the tail, rolling over onto one side, staying in one place, lowering or resting the head, blinking the eyes, unfurling the brow, or releasing a deep sigh. Feed your dog a treat for any physical relaxation response, again with calm and slow hand movements. Try to offer the treat in a way that encourages calmer body positions. For example, if my dog flops on his side, I would deliver the treat near his elbow to encourage him to stay on his side. For a down position, I’d put the treat between his front paws and on the ground. If my dog rests his head, I’d place the treat on a spot near his mouth. This exercise may look different for each dog as not all dogs relax in the same positions as others. Maybe your dog tends to curl up in a ball when relaxing while another dog likes to sprawl out in a frog position for naps. It’s all good. Watch online students Isadora and Xuxa demonstrate this exercise here.

The last step in your relaxation lesson is teaching and feeding for a rested head position. Once your dog is settled in a down position, feed a treat anytime he lowers and/or rests his head, again using calming hand motions. When the head and neck are supported in a resting position, this tells our nervous system that it is safe to relax and go to sleep. Feeding for this behavior will encourage your dog to do it more often and will help your dog relax. (Watch online students Denise and Wilson demonstrate a head resting exercise here.

End your relaxation session by allowing your dog to remain there and nap or by slowly getting up and exiting the space, allowing your dog to do whatever they wish. Releasing your dog with an enthusiastic “OK!” will undermine the work you just completed so keep things mellow. If you have time, heading out for a decompression-and-sniff walk can be a great transition and will give each of you some exercise and time outdoors that you can enjoy together. If not, just enjoy some quiet time at home with your newly relaxed pup.