Puppy Love: The Challenges Nobody Talks About

Puppies are so easy to love but can be really challenging roommates. photo: AdobeStock

We all love puppies: those cute features, those winsome eyes, that yummy new puppy smell.

But there are also challenges with having a new pup in your life, and that’s true regardless of the dog’s age, breed, or level of training. Unfortunately, most people don’t feel comfortable talking about this.

I’m a professional dog trainer and behavior consultant. But even I was crying and pulling my hair out during most of the first year with Balto, the Shepherd/Husky mix I rescued at four months. So I’m here to tell you it is normal and common to sometimes feel frustrated and embarrassed by our dogs, especially in the early days. Which begs the question: why would I sign up for more?

“Your dog just turned two-and-a-half! Why do you want to do this all over again?!” the Puppy Pound Rescue volunteer asked in shock and maybe a little horror. “Because I am a trainer and I am nuts,” I replied. “Fair enough,” she said. “Biquette is yours.”

And so, on December 10, I was approved to adopt my new Malinois puppy, Biquette. Balto had taught me so much in our time together. Now I was ready to learn all the things Biquette had to teach me.

As a Credentialed Family Dog Mediator (CFDM), I use the L.E.G.S. model developed by Applied Ethologist Kim Brophey for all my training and behavior modification. This model incorporates four components (Learning, Environment, Genetics, and Self), each one of which is important for successful dog training.

But before L.E.G.S., none of my training techniques were working with Balto. For starters, his attention span was about a quarter of a second. There were times when I would end our training session after just one good repetition because I knew that was all I was going to get, and I wanted him to remember the success for our next session.

Though it kept our early sessions ridiculously short, that’s when we finally started to make progress. He did remember. And we began building behaviors, such as “Go to mat!”, which he now offers in multiple situations without being cued. It was accepting the tiniest micro-splices of my goal behavior that allowed our training to finally begin to take off.

Recall was a mess at first. I tried taking him off leash to Fort Funston, but he would quickly dash out of my sight, leaving me white with panic at the thought of the traffic on nearby Skyline Boulevard. Even my sternest mom voice didn’t work on Balto. He’d just look at me and willfully dart the other way. You’re not the boss of me!

So we went back to enclosed spaces and started over. I learned to immediately reward every stop and every auto check-in, a technique also known as capturing. I learned to call him and then let him return to exploration. I reinforced every single success and then let him go back to what he was doing to begin with. That is when I really began to understand the Premack Principle on a visceral level: that dogs (and people) are more likely to do a less-preferred action if it’s followed by a more-preferred action.

When we eventually returned to Funston during those first months of recall training, I cheered all his stops and every little micro-acknowledgment of me. Within a day, he was starting to return closer and closer to me until finally I was getting a full, enthusiastic bounding return, just like at the enclosed dog park.

I knew Balto’s Husky genetics meant he wanted to run far away. I knew his Shepherd genetics meant he would return. And I knew his puppy and then adolescent hormones were influencing his genetics and learning. I let him tell me that he heard me without expecting or demanding the full target behavior, and I allowed him to learn at his own pace, on his own terms. I used whatever the environment offered, doing real-time training in real-life situations.

Balto now rarely needs to be called. He stays in close proximity and often runs up to me just to say, “This is the best time ever!” Today, I have a well-trained, safe dog who trusts me. We communicate clearly and openly with each other. I learned to get him to do what I needed him to do by giving him what he wanted to do.

And I am here to say that it truly is much easier with the second puppy. Things that freaked me out with Balto are “meh” to me this time around. I know to let Biquette train me more than I am training her. Of course, she’s a puppy and there are still times when I want to scream. But overall, it’s working.

So if you’re considering getting a new pup, don’t be put off by training fears. Just pay attention to your dog’s learning, environment, genetics, and self. Listen to them. Learn what they want. With a little patience and a lot of love, you’ll be on your way to a great relationship.