How to Get What You Want If You’re a Dog (Or His Human)

The author's new pup, Crimes, 10 months old

My dog Orion and I have been a team for almost 12 years and, though he can’t speak, he can definitely communicate. Because he relies completely on me for food, access to the outdoors, toys, car rides, trips to fun places, and more, he must have clear ways to tell me what he wants. Over time, his trained behaviors have become a fluent language between the two of us. 

For example, Orion walks at my side and looks directly at my pocket where the food is, then executes a spin at my side and quickly returns to heel position, looking right into my eyes. In response, I click my training clicker and reach in that pocket to give him a treat. This non-verbal language gives him access to what he wants with ease and style. 

Sometimes his wants are fairly obvious, as when he walks to the refrigerator door, looks directly at it, then at me, then at the door again, and makes a soft whine. Clearly, he wants me to use my fabulous opposable thumbs to open the door and give him food. Or when he walks to the shelf with toys on it, looks up at a toy that is out of reach, then into my eyes, then again at the toy. His eye contact - looking from the thing to me and back again - tells me what he wants. I understand and can get that toy for him.

But what about times when it’s not that obvious? When a dog’s communication is a bit more garbled? 

Some clients of mine had a bouncy 6-month-old Golden Retriever who would enthusiastically launch himself at whoever was coming in the door. He was big and strong and pounded his paws against the person so his greetings were usually less than welcome. His family would grab him and hold him down, saying “ NO, NO, STOP, OFF” while pushing their hands against his body. Well, he loved that, and it reinforced his behavior because what he really wanted in that moment was social interaction and physical touch. That's exactly what they were providing, so it strengthened his behavior to the point that it was truly over the top. 

Once we diagnosed what he actually wanted, we taught him instead to perch on the loveseat near the door. When he was on that piece of furniture his family could touch him, wrestle with him, and talk to him as much as they liked - but as soon as he left the loveseat, they acted as if he was invisible and would even close the baby gate so he was stuck there alone in the entryway. It took a little practice and some management of the gate, but since he wanted that social interaction, he quickly learned that his humans would give him exactly what he wanted when he went to his perch. 

Orion, 11 and pal Crimes, photo by the author

Once you understand what your dog wants, it’s your job to illuminate the quickest path to that goal. This kind of communication will result in behaviors that delight both of you, and everybody wins. 

It's sometimes hard to notice a very good dog, because he is quiet and not biting or bothering you. But if we want to reinforce those attractive behaviors we must notice them. Dogs do cool things all day long, but if we only respond to them when they jump on us or nip at us, our response can make these unwanted behaviors stronger. The trick is to shift your perspective, notice your dog when he’s doing attractive behaviors, and reinforce those. Catch him being good! 

Also think about what your dog actually wants, and pay attention to those clues. A dog who is hungry wants to eat, a dog who has been alone for a while wants social interaction, a dog who is cold wants to warm up. These needs are fairly easy to anticipate so be ready to meet them and get some lovely trained behaviors in the process. 

photo by the author

The animal behaviorist Kathy Sdao wrote a book called Plenty In Life Is Free, in which she urges us to become masters of reinforcement, harnessing its power in those moments when your dog is behaving well: when he has all four feet on the floor, when he lies down, when he makes eye contact with you quietly.  If we are attentive observers, we can find countless moments in each day when we have the opportunity to reinforce those wonderful behaviors - and we won't have to think so much about behaviors we don't like. 

Just set your dog up to be awesome, notice his awesomeness, and reward, reward, reward. Before you know it, those are the behaviors you will see the most.