Home Alone: How to Treat Separation-Related Behavior Problems

Dogs who suffer from separation-related behavior problems may vocalize or howl, become destructive, hurt themselves, urinate, defecate, try to escape, or avoid eating or drinking. photo: AdobeStock

Not being able to leave your dog home alone is one of the more stressful behavior problems owners and their dogs deal with. Separation-related behavior problems such as separation anxiety or separation frustration cause owners to be prisoners in their own homes and make going out even just to run a quick errand stressful for everyone. 

In my work coaching owners and their dogs, I find that owners of dogs who suffer from separation-related behavior problems are chronically more stressed than almost anyone else. Even a dog who exhibits aggressive behavior may be easier to deal with emotionally since you can always get a break from the situation by heading out of the house for some downtime without your dog.

Often dubbed separation anxiety, separation-related behavior problems may be a more accurate term, as fear is just one emotion dogs may feel when left home alone. Frustration is also a common reason dogs may have problems being left alone. Dogs who suffer from separation-related behavior problems may vocalize or howl, become destructive, hurt themselves, urinate, defecate, try to escape, or avoid eating or drinking. They may also follow you around the house when you are getting ready to leave and respond negatively to your departure cues.

So what can you do? The first recommendation is to “spread the love.” Enlist the help of friends, family, or dog professionals such as walkers or day care providers to get some back up support so you can leave your dog with a trusted individual when you need to be away from home. This will prevent you from suffering burnout and ensure your dog is not experiencing panic or frustration because you will not be putting them in that alone situation any longer. 

But you do want to help your dog successfully learn to feel good about being left home alone eventually. To start that process, it is essential that you not leave your dog home alone for longer than they can tolerate initially. For most owners who are just embarking on a training journey, this will mean suspending absences altogether while implementing an evidenced-based training plan.

Desensitization is a training process whereby we expose the dog to periods of alone time at a level that does not provoke the problematic response. As the dog becomes more comfortable, we gradually increase the duration of home alone time, slowly building up to longer absences as the dog is ready to progress. The goal is for the dog to never experience any icky feelings during these practice departures, which would only serve to exacerbate the underlying problem and make things worse in the long run. Letting your dog cry it out is not only inhumane, but it is detrimental to implementing a successful desensitization protocol. It will definitely not help your dog feel good about being left home alone.

People often wonder if food is a helpful tool when working with separation anxiety. The use of food in dog training has its purpose, but it’s not often used in separation anxiety training protocols. Because we are attempting to change the way our dog feels about something, food would need to be used in the classical conditioning realm, where we pair the icky thing with the food until the icky thing predicts the food and is no longer icky. In order for this to work, we allow the dog to perceive the icky thing first and then deliver the food second; that order is most important. 

But when leaving a dog home alone, owners would have to give the dog the food first and leave the house second. Unfortunately, that will simply teach the dog that the delivery of food is an additional departure cue to be concerned about. Soon your dog will likely become upset when you deliver the food because they know it means they are about to be left home alone. In order to use food successfully, the food would need to be delivered to the dog after you’ve left the home, which is difficult to do in most situations. For a food-motivated dog, a food-stuffed toy might function as a management tool, meaning your dog will happily eat the food for a short duration and only start to panic after they are finished. This might buy you enough time to run down to the laundry room or to take out the trash as long as you return before the dog has finished their snack, but it isn’t usually an effective strategy for longer absences.

Owners often resort to confinement as an attempt to manage their dog’s destructive behavior when left home alone. Regrettably, many dogs who suffer from separation-related behavior problems usually do worse when left in a small, confined space. Dogs can thrash in a crate, bite the bars, dig at the crate pan, and cause injury to themselves attempting to escape. Some dogs will shut down when placed in a crate and while it may appear that they have grown used to the situation, the fact that you can’t leave your dog alone loose in the house without the behavior problem presenting itself tells you otherwise. Leaving your dog home alone with the maximum amount of space that is feasible for your situation is generally the best bet.

Anti-bark devices such as citronella collars, electronic collars, and the like are never an appropriate choice. These devices may work to stop your dog from barking but do nothing to address the underlying emotional response and instead may aggravate it. Punishing the symptoms of the problem is like putting a bandaid over an infected wound and hoping it gets better when really you need to address the root cause of the problem with antibiotics. When we punish barking, the dog’s icky feelings are usually displayed in other ways such as self-mutilation, urinating, defecating, or destructiveness. If you are at your wit’s end and considering punishment, call a separation anxiety specialist and get professional help dealing with the root cause for long-term success.

The last thing to consider is the use of pharmaceuticals to assist in your dog’s recovery. Appropriately prescribed medications can make a huge difference with some dogs and can aid in making progress toward your goals. There is no shame in enlisting the help of a veterinary behaviorist to assist you in finding the correct medication to help your dog live a better quality life and be successful during home alone time. In fact, the most common thing I hear from owners who have tried medication is “why didn’t I do this sooner?”. The San Francisco SPCA has a couple of great board-certified veterinary behaviorists who can assist you and your dog trainer in adding medication to your training protocol.

Above all, remember that separated-related behavior problems are treatable with smart management and a carefully implemented desensitization plan. There is no need for you and your dog to continue to suffer. Successful rehabilitation is possible if you seek it out.