Are You a Helicopter Dog Guardian? Take This Quiz and Find Out
Do you ever give your dog a break? photo: AdobeStock
We love our dogs. A lot. And as guardians, we must ensure that no harm will come to our dogs.
But hovering and paying excessive attention to their every move can lead to anxious dogs who cannot make decisions for themselves. A well-trained dog is a dog who can think for itself and can make good choices without being micromanaged.
In life, some people are risk-takers, while others are more risk averse. But most of us occasionally indulge in some guilty pleasures: we stay up too late, binge-watch TV, eat an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting, order too much takeout, or drive too fast. As long as we keep these activities to a reasonable limit and don’t harm ourselves or others, they add a little fun and spontaneity to our lives.
As adults, we don’t want someone else watching over our every move. Neither do our dogs.
Does your dog live in a safe, boring bubble, or are they allowed some guilty pleasures? Take this quiz to find out if you are a no-fun dog owner.
4 points each
No barking (too noisy)
No howling (also too noisy)
No digging (dirty paws)
No swimming (too wet)
No beach (too sandy)
No rolling on the ground (too messy)
No running (too rowdy)
No sniffing (too slow)
No licking (too slimy)
No tug (could lose a tooth)
No tennis balls (might choke)
Not allowed to dissect dog toys (too expensive)
3 points
Never allowed off-leash (scary)
Must be no more than six feet away from me at all times (also scary)
Small dog not allowed on the ground outside (dirty!)
Not allowed to meet unknown dogs (too unpredictable)
No rough playing with other dogs (someone could get hurt)
No playing with small dogs (scary)
No playing with big dogs (scary)
No humping (embarrassing)
No butt sniffing (ewww)
No flatulence (too stinky)
2 points
No chewing bones (could choke)
No sticks (someone might lose an eye)
No eating grass (might vomit)
No human food (might start begging)
No commercial dog food (only organic home-made)
Can only drink bottled water (healthier than tap water)
1 point
Not allowed on the couch (too much fur)
Not allowed on the bed (too smelly)
Must wear a raincoat if it's raining (too wet)
My dog has a different outfit for every day of the week (too stylin')
My dog has a trust fund (too lucky)
Your Score
50-100 points: Call your therapist ASAP.
25-50 points: Hire a dog trainer.
10-25 points: Lighten up a little.
Less than 10 points: You’re fun!
0 Points: Did your dog leave you for someone with a little more structure?
Allowing our dogs to engage in species-appropriate behavior is not the same as having no rules or boundaries. But domesticated dogs are still animals. Dogs are noisy and messy. They are not accessories, show ponies, or obedient robots.
So don’t be a helicopter guardian. Embrace a little chaos, and let your dog be a dog.