When Is It Time? Your Last Act of Love

Will you know when it’s time? photo: AdobeStock

When each of us brings a dog companion into our lives and homes, we automatically take on the sacred responsibility of providing our adopted friends a good death. This includes the natural death we all yearn for, in which our aged pet dies in his sleep after a long and loving life. But more likely, we will have to decide when, how, and where to euthanize our beloved canine companion.  

The science of the human-animal bond now acknowledges what dog people already knew: that animal companionship offers humans tangible health and social benefits. These may include cardiac patients living longer lives, AIDS patients being loved unconditionally, children first learning about death, and many more. Because we love them so deeply, it is not surprising that experiencing our pet’s death is one of the most poignant moments we as humans must endure.

My first canine death experience came with my 16-year-old Tibetan Terrier, Igora. She was my first dog as an adult and offered me so much love with her joyful antics and companionship.  When she approached old age, she was diagnosed with cancer. I nurtured her with love, attention, and lots of her favorite chicken. Then one day she got up, went out the open front door, and - without looking back - walked down the driveway, through the gate, and off into the forest. She had never done this before, but I knew she was telling me that she was ready to leave me. 

I brought her back home and quickly made the arrangements for euthanasia. My veterinarian and friend, Dr. Kathy Gervais, offered to come to my home and euthanize her. It was a privilege being with Igora in her last hours, offering her love in her home and garden. Deep sadness and grief came over me, and I wailed that day. I felt a loss I had never experienced before, yet it did feel familiar. I had sat in witness to the deaths of childhood guinea pigs, my first goldfish, my deceased grandparents. All these losses seemed to well up in one deep moment of grief with Igora’s passing.

Painting of Teva by Dr. Gorczyca

My next dog companion was a Terrier, Teva. I had never had a canine relationship as I did with Teva. We became inseparable. Her deep brown eyes would interlock with mine and bring me total love and solace. As she approached 16, she became a frail, yet beautiful, aged dog. I would keep my hand on her chest at night as she slept next to me, just to make sure she was still breathing.  I wanted to keep her alive as long as possible.  

During a Thanksgiving gathering at my mom’s, we all noticed that Teva was not hanging out with the family, which was very odd behavior for her. She had also developed a cough, and I’d planned to set up a veterinary visit on Monday for a radiograph. But back at home she became weaker, and her coughing was more constant. 

Rather than wait until Monday, I took her to the veterinary ER where she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. While there, Teva collapsed in the examination room and I had to make a momentary judgment to have her euthanized. This was a very difficult decision. I did not want to hospitalize her alone for the last days of her life, on the slight chance that she could survive a few more weeks. She had offered me so much love and companionship, and I had to make sure that she would not suffer. The veterinary staff were very compassionate, allowing me time to say goodbye alone.  This became another day of deep mourning, grief, and loss. Once again, all my previous life losses came swirling back to me.

The deaths of Igora and Teva taught me a lot about compassion, love, loss, and grief. I learned that we, as animal guardians, must start our own grief process and suffering prior to the death of our beloved companions if we do not want them to suffer or experience pain. It is so difficult, but it is our responsibility as their trusted caregivers.

So how do we decide when it is time to make a euthanasia appointment? Always start by speaking with your family veterinarian, and learn as much as you can about end-of-life options. Today, similar to human medicine, veterinary medicine offers palliative and hospice care for our aging pets. You should also learn about quality-of-life issues to help you understand when the time is right. A good place to start is this PDF from Ohio State, which provides tools to help you evaluate your pet’s quality of life.

As Benjamin Franklin once said, “In this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes.” When you take on the responsibility of caring for an animal companion, you also take on the responsibility for providing them a good death. You do not want your pet to suffer.  

Companion animal euthanasia has evolved in recent years, paralleling the human hospice movement. It is now accepted veterinary care to sedate an animal in advance of the euthanasia procedure, which takes away fear or pain during an animal’s death. Many dog euthanasia procedures take place in a veterinary hospital examination room or chapel room. However, there are now also home euthanasia veterinarians who provide this sacred service in your own home environment. This can decrease your dog’s fear and anxiety as well as that of human family members.

Think about how you would like your own death to be. Who will be at your bedside? Where will you be?  Your last act of love for your animal companion is the most essential act you can offer them and yourself. To enable a good passing of your animal companion, your own grief must start in advance.